your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize