David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
