Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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