Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
ttyl tear gas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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