she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
