You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
