I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
