i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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