So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize