I just made out with a guy for $7.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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