So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
