I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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