Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
