Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me

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  (586): If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me http://tfl.nu/rhnt
  Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (1039)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I smell stomach acid.

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  (304): I smell stomach acid. http://tfl.nu/n8wy
  Replies (13) Good night (815) Bad night (2892)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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  (609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5
  Replies (32) Good night (6702) Bad night (830)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.

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  (203): using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs. http://tfl.nu/lgyg
  Replies (41) Good night (4292) Bad night (1445)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt

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  (225): Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt http://tfl.nu/3ulw
  Replies (17) Good night (2107) Bad night (3125)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.

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  (706): we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating. http://tfl.nu/lk5p
  Replies (13) Good night (6642) Bad night (1346)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"

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  (917): I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people" http://tfl.nu/5d9d
  Replies (20) Good night (7635) Bad night (1839)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1028) Bad night (5708)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (2399)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.

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  (606): I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well. http://tfl.nu/cs63
  Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (1476)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (1923) Bad night (629)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

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  (603): i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck. http://tfl.nu/oxfo
  Replies (10) Good night (796) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do

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  (231): I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do http://tfl.nu/swrn
  Replies (5) Good night (1068) Bad night (473)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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  (720): Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay? http://tfl.nu/yxii
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.

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  (210): Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that. http://tfl.nu/0yso
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (156)

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