Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
