apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
