So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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