Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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