I love black thongs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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