So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
