I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
