I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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