I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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