Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
