I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
