Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
