Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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