found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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