whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
