i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
