I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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