i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
