I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
