I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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