I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
