I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
