Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
