I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
