I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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