Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
