Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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