I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize