So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
