i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
