I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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