you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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