Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize