If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
