Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
