dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
