I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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