he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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