it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
