I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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