i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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