So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
