And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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