He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
