so explain again why im purple
no
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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