I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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