And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
