Do vagina's smell?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
