Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
