thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's the barista slut.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
