You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
