this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
