"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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