found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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