Swine flu. Run for my life!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.