based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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