hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios