who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...