Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
