His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
BRING THE BAGELS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
