Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Randomize